Throughout my life, starting when I was at a young age, I was taught by my parents and grandparents that the most critical qualities of your character are your respect and love for yourself and for others. Having kept those qualities throughout my life, even up to this moment when writing this blog, I still do my best to stand by those qualities but not in the order they should be taken in. I have unintentionally put the people around me first without putting myself first. Looking back, many people say that they have regrets for certain situations, but this is a situation for me that I will never regret or want to take back.
We were all born with a purpose when we came into this world, and I’ve come to an understanding that my purpose is to have a positive impact or influence on the people around me. Family, friends, coworkers, teammates, strangers, anyone that I cross paths with. I don’t do this in hopes to receive what I give to others, it’s not me saying “If I did it, they should do it”. I don’t have expectations to receive anything from anyone, in this situation, the love, and care that I give you. To whoever is reading this, don’t set expectations based on your character onto other people because some people might not have the same perspective as you in matters like this or the same heart and passion. When you set an expectation on someone without them knowing and they don’t fulfill it, the only thing that will happen is the negative impact it will have on you. You expect it to go this way and all of a sudden it goes the other way, now you may be overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, you name it.
I’ve accepted the risk and responsibility to put others first, basing my happiness off their happiness. It is hard for me to be happy if I know one of my friends isn’t. Of course when I am around them, I will match their energy to give them that sense of comfort but also at a safe rate, start to pass over my happiness and love to them so they know that someone cares about them and that they will never be alone when life throws them curveballs.
I had a recent situation that occurred in my personal life that really did set me back. I still am in many ways trying to get back to normal mentally/emotionally but understanding things takes time and I need to have patience in situations like this. This situation could’ve been a little bit more manageable if I practiced putting myself first or thinking about me first and not about the other individual. Not saying that you should disregard the feelings and existence of the other individual but to understand that it is completely normal and on top of them all healthy to implement that self-care for yourself. Self-care is also an attribute to your confidence and motivation.
Some good things or sacrifices come with a cost, it’s like you’re driving down the road to get to your destination, and all of a sudden you come across a roadblock, detour, or some sort of obstacle that delays you on getting where you want/need to be. I will continue to love and care for the people around me but need to understand that If I want to continue doing that for the rest of my life, I must love and care about myself first so I can be strong enough to be there for others and assist them with anything they need help with.
The essence of this blog is for you to understand the value that you have as an individual and how much you mean to the people around you without you knowing. At the end of the day, even if it’s stepping out of your comfort zone, put yourself first. I am happy to say that I know of many people that do put themselves first which is amazing, but I am also one of the many that put myself second. With the start of the New Year, it’s a great opportunity to start fresh with certain things in your life or to even try new things that you have been wanting to try. You don’t know until you try. I recently picked up journaling again this week to add an activity to help me heal from my situation but also allow me to be me when I journal so I can understand myself better.
To whoever got through this blog up to this point and are reading this, I want you to know that you are loved, people care about you even if it doesn’t feel like it, someone around you will think about you at some point in their day because you are simply a pure and an amazing person and need to know that. At the end of the day, to be there for others and to help them with what they are going through, you need to be there for yourself first before you decide to go to an individual. Much love, I hope you guys enjoyed this, hopefully, it is the first of many blogs.